Former Conservative Prime Minister and Union botherer Margaret Thatcher tried to cover up the city of Leeds according to explosive new allegations released in the Sunday Mirror today. Mrs Thatcher, who famously said “There’s no such thing as the North of England. Only the South, the Midlands and one or two odd little provinces inhabited by monkey people”, is believed to have ordered the city to be removed from maps, train timetables and the good food guide.
One former cabinet member told us “If you even said Leeds there would be a long and awkward silence and basically you knew you were out of a job. We were all treading on eggshells. It got so bad at one point that you weren’t allowed to say anything that rhymed with Leeds. After that you weren’t allowed to say any words that began with L. In the end the cabinet had had enough and that’s one of the main reasons that John Major took over.”
Leeds, pronounced “Leeeeds!” by people who live in Leeds has struggled to recover from the stigma with even now tourists referring to it as other Halifax or little Manchester.
We attempted to visit Leeds to speak to some locals but ended up driving round and round a complicated ring road that seemed to have no exits into the city centre and eventually gave the whole thing up as a bad job. One man we spoke to who said he came from Leeds told us “I’m from Leeds! I’m proud to come from Leeds! I’m from Leeeeeeeds!!!!”
David Cameron has described the allegations as dangerous tittle tattle. “If there is a city to the right of Bradford, then no stone will be left unturned in finding it.” He assured.
